We got the drug protocol through last night - oh my goodness! A drug protocol is basically the list of drugs that I have to take, in what sequence and for how long. Long is the operative word - I actually can't tell you the amount of injections and pills I have to take as every time I add them up I miss some out and then have to start again but we are well over 200. Wow. I printed off all the information and my husband asked if I was printing the Yellow Pages - it certainly felt that way. I told him he had to read it and he went rather pale - he's still on page 2 of The Beano.
There is so much to take in that last night I went to bed totally overwhelmed and terrified - and obviously didn't sleep a wink. Seriously Mum, you are an amazing gardener and an incredibly good cook and a mean crossword fanatic - could you not have passed those skills on to me instead of your incredible ability to worry worry worry all through the night? I can neither garden nor cook but I can definitely whip your Worry Crown straight from your head. My latest fear is that I have calculated the dates wrong (anyone who knows me well will know that this is not an unfounded worry) and my timings will make everything fail. I have sent a very pleading e-mail to Dr UK IVF asking him to work it all out for me and basically take over as I just cannot bear the weight of responsibility. I think he may be regretting taking us on...
So anyway, in between worry which is taking up the vast percentage of my nights and Nocturnal Boy's activities (oh by the way, I think he peaked with his bad behaviour and he has been absolutely adorable since Saturday so we have revised our thinking and we most definitely want another one of him please) I am quite tired. But I have come up with a new take on this and actually think my old sparring partner Mother Nature is doing me a favour. I think she is preparing me for a new-born. I had quite forgotten the depravity that came with sleepless nights, but she has given me the perfect insight over the past few weeks and while I think she could have waited until I was actually pregnant before this little insight, I can see the logic. Tongue is firmly in cheek.
Anyway, tiredness aside, I have in black and white a prescription on my desk waiting to be taken to the Doctors and a bucket load of pills and syringes to pick up, it's really actually, definitely, completely happening!!
I'm nervous about the amount of hormones and steroids that will be coursing through my veins, but more nervous for those around me than myself, bad luck. I am a little less than excited about the intralipid infusion (to lower my immune system) that apparently takes over 2 hours, but I can at least have it at Mum and Dad's while catching up with Neighbours and Home and Away. All in all it could be a lot worse in terms of medical punishment and frankly, if there is a chance it will work, I would do it all ten times over.
Yes, I think its fair to say that while I am single handedly sending myself grey with this ludicrous and totally time wasting worry, I am very very excited and looking forward to the next step. I have a couple of weeks to wait and then I should have a bottom like a pin cushion (makes a change from orange peel), facial hair to rival Brian Blessed and maybe even the voice to match. My husband can't wait...
No comments:
Post a Comment