Exciting times.

It's been a manic week one way or another. First of all, I'm off on an impromptu trip to Australia to see a school friend and her boys, one of whom is my Godson and I haven't even met him yet! I have to thank my lovely husband who I think took pity on me during 'sleep gate' and could see that I was a couple of days from combustion, so booked me quick smart on a plane to Sydney. I also think he's looking forward to a few days  of uninterrupted sleep himself (she say's as his comments of 'that was a better night wasn't it?' ring in my ears. I had been up 4 times in the night and he slept through the lot). For the record - we are now getting some sort of routine back from our son, but I am still spending far too much of the night awake worrying. I have added schooling worries to the IVF ones - well in for a penny in for a pound and if I am going to be awake half the night 'thinking' I may as well make it productive.
Anyway, while organising the flight, I suddenly realised that I need to start taking drugs pretty smartish. Amusing to see how my mind works - we've been planning IVF since November/December time but it takes me to book a flight to actually realise I am starting it in 2 weeks. Nothing like leaving things until the last minute. I have to admit I have found the whole level of drugs and their administering really quite overwhelming and subconsciously put actually getting the drugs to the back of my mind as I couldn't face it. There are SO many to take and in so many different forms and at different times, I've got myself in a bit of a pickle about it. For the first time in my life I attempted an excel spreadsheet - I thought it would be helpful to put in what drug I need and when I need to take it - it's SO confusing I am permanently going back to check I haven't missed anything out. Anyway, that didn't work as I am hopeless at excel sheets and got myself more worked up than I was before. It all resulted in panic phone calls to Dr UK IVF's secretary (the Doc himself is on annual leave - probably to escape from me for a while) and Dr HK IVF's nurse to see if I could start just one drug here in Hong Kong and the rest when I get to England and at which point I will be given a print out with exact instructions. Phew - both said it was ok and I have to say I slept a whole lot better last night. If you ignore the little man wetting the bed after a nightmare and then shouting for me because his duvet wasn't on properly (!). Seriously - he is his fathers son through and through. Not the wetting the bed bit I should add.
I collected the first instalment of med's from the hospital this morning to start next week, and it's actually really exciting. I daresay it seems strange to say that the prospect of filling ones body with all kinds of hormones, steroids, anti-coagulants and the likes is exciting but really it is. I think I definitely have more Hollywood moments than most - this is where things in your life could be in a film - so for example when my son runs out of school into my arms, if you slow mo'd it down, that could be a scene from a film. Today when I actually held the drugs, it was very Hollywood. Not a blockbuster, granted, in fact I am not sure it would even go so far as straight to DVD - the Hollywood scenes in my life are all destined for the cutting room floor, but none the less it had a real sense of achievement, crescendo, the soundtrack would have been uplifting if it were in a film. As it's real life, none of that happened and the nurse gave me a demonstration in front of about 30 random punters of how to use the nasal spray. Not as glam as Julia Roberts but hey ho.
I trotted out of the hospital full of beans and optimism which I have found hard to find over the past few weeks. In the same way that when one has a miscarriage, all of a sudden lots of other people have them too and it's so horribly sad. Since we have been given the green light to go ahead with IVF if I have heard one failure story I have heard 10. Of course IVF does not mean immediate success and there have to be failures - thats life - but when you are on the start of your journey and full of so much hope its really hard to hear that it's failed for someone else. I now have to warn people that if they have bad stories not to tell me as I really can't bear to hear them. Anyway, today I am not full of doom and gloom but of hope and excitement. I am definitely in the zone where I think we are going to have a baby and I am seriously excited. It's almost like the drugs are the advent calendar, implantation is Christmas Eve and pregnancy test is Christmas Day - well we hope anyway.
So I'm off to Aus to see my lovely friend and her boys (sadly it will be a dry old do as I can't drink obviously, and she is breastfeeding), have some sun, do lots of lovely fun things and when I get back it's time to start snorting. You see - that's not Julia Roberts either. Maybe I need to re-asses this whole Hollywood thing...