Wednesday 6 April 2011
Au revoir...
So - two day's to go and we're off. There are two suitcases sitting on my spare bed with some semblance of attire and 'kit' in them, I have lists as long as a toilet roll, some things actually crossed off, most just pending. Today has been spent dashing from a-b, tomorrow will be much the same, and Friday will be an early start (5am - eurgh) as we head to England and for the real nitty gritty.
I had a final counselling session pre-IVF. I think I will keep going when I get back regardless of the outcome as I realise there really is a lot going on in my head that I have not dealt with. Lovely Head Doctor listened to me as I spilled the beans on how scared I am, how the magnitude of everything we have been through over the past 2 years has just hit me like a double decker bus and how I am emotionally drained. I think the best thing she said to me today was that I didn't have to be happy and excited and almost grateful for where we are going and what we are doing all the time. It's ok to be worried and have fears and admit that while this journey is hopefully going to take us to our ideal conclusion, we can be shaky along the way. My husband is being remarkable - I worry that he is holding back and not really sharing with me all his fears as he doesn't want to burden me, but I genuinely believe he is just being pragmatic and strong. Either way, he has surprised me every step of the way on this journey and I love him more and more every step of the way. Whatever the outcome, I will never doubt our strength as a couple or a family and that is a very nice place to be.
My friends and I got together today for a final play date for the little man, who has NO idea what all the fuss is about. As far as he's concerned he's off to see Granny and Poppa, Grandma (and gypsy) his Aunts, Uncles and cousins and go to a new school that he's reliably informed me has a Shark Class and he is going to be the biggest Shark. No idea if it does or not, but that's his take on life at present. He also has no idea that today he was accepted into the school of our choice here in Hong Kong which is a major relief and I wondered somewhat indulgently if it was a sign that maybe our luck might be changing? Hope so. Anyway, the playdate involved a lot of farewells and good lucks and I have a lump in my throat the size of Stone Henge. I really can't ever thank this group of wonderful women enough. They have truly shown me the meaning of the word friends and I am forever grateful. I hope that I can give everyone some good news soon...
I had a final counselling session pre-IVF. I think I will keep going when I get back regardless of the outcome as I realise there really is a lot going on in my head that I have not dealt with. Lovely Head Doctor listened to me as I spilled the beans on how scared I am, how the magnitude of everything we have been through over the past 2 years has just hit me like a double decker bus and how I am emotionally drained. I think the best thing she said to me today was that I didn't have to be happy and excited and almost grateful for where we are going and what we are doing all the time. It's ok to be worried and have fears and admit that while this journey is hopefully going to take us to our ideal conclusion, we can be shaky along the way. My husband is being remarkable - I worry that he is holding back and not really sharing with me all his fears as he doesn't want to burden me, but I genuinely believe he is just being pragmatic and strong. Either way, he has surprised me every step of the way on this journey and I love him more and more every step of the way. Whatever the outcome, I will never doubt our strength as a couple or a family and that is a very nice place to be.
My friends and I got together today for a final play date for the little man, who has NO idea what all the fuss is about. As far as he's concerned he's off to see Granny and Poppa, Grandma (and gypsy) his Aunts, Uncles and cousins and go to a new school that he's reliably informed me has a Shark Class and he is going to be the biggest Shark. No idea if it does or not, but that's his take on life at present. He also has no idea that today he was accepted into the school of our choice here in Hong Kong which is a major relief and I wondered somewhat indulgently if it was a sign that maybe our luck might be changing? Hope so. Anyway, the playdate involved a lot of farewells and good lucks and I have a lump in my throat the size of Stone Henge. I really can't ever thank this group of wonderful women enough. They have truly shown me the meaning of the word friends and I am forever grateful. I hope that I can give everyone some good news soon...
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